I want to do a stand-up comedy routine where I read just the punch lines from the movie Dumb and Dumber.

Do you want to be my friends with me?

My mom called me over to look at a picture of Obama looking smug and then called him a “Son of a bitch.”

I want to make t-shirts that read “I am a fan of the ____ football team.” so that people can write in whichever team they like.

I want to do a stand-up comedy routine where I end it by saying my name is Jonah Hill.

If the Jetsons was really in the future, how come it never showed the characters using Twitter?

In twenty years parents will tell their children how growing up they didn’t have any followers either.